10 Reasons to Not Become a Vegan
If you get out once in awhile, scan magazines in a grocery store check-out, or surf your social media feeds, you probably know that veganism has been trending sharply upward in the last decade. Vegetarianism, in all its forms, has also been growing in western countries including the US.
At the very least, you know being a vegetarian or vegan means not eating meat. Vegans eat no animal products at all (not even honey) and are also called “pure vegetarians.” Vegetarians might eat eggs and dairy products, and they’re generally not as strict. Maybe you’ve seen some of these crunchy soyf***ers in your local grocery store, loading their carts with tofu, soy milk, and piles of vegetables and fruit.
And you can bet your baby back ribs that they’re the ones blocking the aisles as they check the ingredients on food packages. “Just get the damn shit,” you grumble as you squeeze by with your own cart.
You might even have a sibling, a friend, or a colleague pushing their way of eating on you. “You should eat less meat!” they lecture. “It’s not good for you. It’s mean to animals, and you’ll die of a heart attack by the time you’re 50.”
“La, la, la I can’t hear you!” You’ve always eaten meat, and why should you change now? People have always eaten meat; who hasn’t? Humans are at the top of the food chain, after all, and it’s perfectly normal. No way are you going to change your ways for a bunch of garden-gobbling snobatarians.
Going vegan does make life a little different, that’s for sure. I know from experience because I’ve been a vegetarian most of my life. And two years ago, I cut all animal products from my diet including dairy products.
I even avoid processed foods like many plant-based eaters do (I always have), and fast foods are out (what would I eat?). Sure, I had my share of mac and cheese and ramen noodles in college. Cooking takes a lot of time and effort, after all, especially when you can barely keep up with school assignments, work, or whatever else you’re into.
So, yeah. Being a vegetarian or vegan is a royal pain in the ass, and here’s why you should stick with eating meat.
1. You’ll have to do some thinking and planning.
It’s true. You can’t just stop eating meat and eat whatever else. Oh, you’ll probably be fine for awhile with cold cereal and oatmeal, a cheese sandwich, spaghetti, or frozen veggie burgers. But it gets boring. Worse, you might not be getting the nutrients you need.
Even with the best, most well-planned vegan diet, you’ll probably have to take vitamin B12 supplements. Prepared, fortified foods like breakfast cereals or plant-based milk have added B12, but you’ll have to read labels carefully since you can’t get much from plant sources. Other nutrients to be careful about and possibly supplement include Vitamin D, calcium, zinc, folate, and the Omega-3 fatty acid ALA (alpha-linolenic acid). Some organizations list still more, like these.
Vegetarians have it easier than vegans if they eat eggs and dairy products. But either way, you’ll have to eat lots of vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and legumes like peas, beans, and lentils. Add soy products like tofu, tempeh, and seitan for variety, additional nutrients, and protein. Plus nuts. “Nuts!” you say. “Why not just grab a burger and fries? Much easier.”
2. You’ll need to spend time on food prep and cooking.
If you already know cooking basics, this part won’t be too hard. And if you already do “batch cooking” you might spend even less time on food prep than you do now.
But if you don’t know how to chop up vegetables, this will suck, especially if you don’t have a food processor that can do 90% of the work. And if you can’t make a pot of rice without burning it, if you can’t figure out how to spin a salad spinner, and if you can’t slice some onions or garlic without cutting yourself, then don’t even think of going vegan. It’s just not worth all that misery.
3. You’ll probably lose weight if you go vegan.
You don’t want to lose weight, do you? More than two out of three Americans are overweight or obese, and standing out in the crowd isn’t much fun. Your friends will bust your chops or get jealous, and that’s hard to deal with. They won’t want to hang out with you, either, especially if you start working out or getting some serious exercise. You won’t go to the same pubs or restaurants anymore or, if you do, you’ll have to order whatever vegetarian or vegan options they might have. How embarrassing. And if you quit drinking, forget about it.
Besides, if you’re a man’s man, you like your beer gut. And if you’re a woman, you might lose all those curves you worked so hard to love. Plus, you’ll go down a few bra sizes, and you’ll have to buy all new clothes. Who can afford it these days? And your partner says he or she loves you as you are, so who cares? They might not want you anymore if you get all healthy and trim. So forget it.
4. You’ll probably save money.
If you stock up on all sorts of packaged processed food for vegans and shop only at high-priced specialty stores, you might spend more on food than you do now. Organic vegetables cost more than conventional veggies, too, and that will rack up your food bill pretty damn fast.
But beef costs a lot more than a bag of dried beans. At my local grocery store, whole beef tenderloin is on sale for $11.99/pound. Brisket is $6.99/pound. Ground chuck is $3.99/pound, and standing rib roast is $6.99/pound. Granted, a whole frozen turkey is only $2.69/pound, but you have to buy the whole 12–24 pound thing.
On the other hand, a one-pound bag of dried black beans and a pound of brown rice will set you back $3.00. Less if you buy in bulk. Add a little olive oil, an onion, garlic, a couple carrots, some vegetable broth, and spices, and we’re talking $3.50 or $4.00. Generous portions for five or six people. Whip up a fresh green salad for everyone and add $2-$3.00.
That’s just too cheap. And you don’t need to save money, do you? You can afford those $10.99/pound T-bone steaks, after all. Or how about a McDonalds Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal for $7.00? Cheeseburgers or Filet-O-Fish meals for the whole family, even. What’s $25 or $30 for dinner at a fast food joint? The kids love it, you work hard, you’re tired, and you deserve it. Right?
5. You’ll be less likely to get heart disease.
Everyone’s gotta go somehow, and it might as well be a heart attack. You should be happy, die happy, and eat what you want. Why mess with Mother Nature?
It’s true that vegetarians and vegans have a lower risk of heart disease than meat eaters. In fact, the American Dietetic Association says one large study found “the incidence of ischemic heart disease was estimated to be 24% lower in lifelong vegetarians and 57% lower in lifelong vegans compared to meat eaters.”
“Ischemia” means some part of your body isn’t getting enough blood and oxygen. That could be the heart, the brain (as in a stroke) and even your legs or intestines. And high cholesterol can be the reason, which vegetarians and vegans don’t often have.
Vegetarians and vegans also tend to have lower blood pressure and a lower body mass index (BMI). And since a commitment to healthy eating often means more exercise, not smoking, and avoiding excess alcohol, they just aren’t as likely as meat eaters to get heart disease.
But that sounds way too healthy. Besides, they’re probably full of shit. Your mother ate meat and smoked until she was 90, right? It’s gotta be some kind of a hoax or conspiracy, maybe to put cattle farmers out of business. Or just so those high fallutin‘ health food stores can make money.
6. You’ll lessen your chances of getting type 2 diabetes, or you’ll get it under control.
Numerous studies have shown that vegetarians and vegans who consume a diet high in whole-grain foods, nuts, vegetables, and legumes have a much-lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes (adult onset diabetes) than meat eaters. Turns out fiber-rich food slows down gastric absorption so the body’s own insulin can handle the load and blood sugar doesn’t skyrocket.
The lowered risk of getting type 2 diabetes or controlling it better is almost expected among vegans and vegetarians, and if the diet is low in fat, risks are even lower and benefits higher.
Now that might sound good to you, especially if you already have type 2 diabetes. But you hate vegetables, and you wouldn’t know a legume if it stared you in the eye. Your medication does the trick, right? You’re used to taking pills or injecting yourself, or your insulin pump works great. Why fix what isn’t broken?
7. You’ll lower your chances of getting certain cancers like prostate cancer, colorectal cancer, and stomach cancer.
A healthy lifestyle that includes a vegetarian or vegan diet with all those vegetables and whole grains means a lower risk of cancer in general. In fact, health groups like the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Institute for Cancer Research estimate that about ⅓ of all cancer can be prevented with lifestyle changes.
But we already know it’s a big hassle to change our eating habits. Everyone you know eats meat, nobody gets cancer, and they all live to a ripe, old age. Right? So why bother?
8. Doctors may get annoyed with you.
This might surprise you, but the average doctor doesn’t know much about diet. And they might think a vegetarian or vegan diet is just as crazy as you think it is.
So when they tell you to follow the Standard American Diet or the FDA’s MyPlate, and you tell them you’re a vegan, they might roll their eyes and get downright sarcastic. Even nasty. Trust me, they do. Been there.
And when they hand you the prescription — you know, for one of those drugs you see advertised on TV commercials or online all the time — they won’t want to hear your theory about, say, eating more fiber. Or smoothies for more easily digestible fiber. Or asking for a vitamin or mineral deficiency test. Testing for electrolytes.
You don’t need more hassles. Life is tough as it is, and you’re not interested in finding a new doctor, either, one trained in integrative medicine (a doctor familiar with alternatives to traditional pill-popping). You’ve had the same doctor since you were a kid, and you trust him or her. They know what they’re doing, right?
9. You might become more compassionate.
Seriously. If you go vegan or vegetarian, even if you just read about it, you’ll probably learn how animals are raised and how they suffer. How they’re slaughtered and butchered. How a mother dairy cow gets frantic when her newborn calf is taken from her, and how some cows have actually broken free to find their calves.
You might even learn that some people eat dogs and cats. That’s right: dog farms in Korea just like cattle farms in the US. Horrible, right? But look at it this way: in the US, folks eat black Angus cattle and Chester White pigs, and other people eat terriers, schnauzers, and Labrador retrievers. Why not? Cows are sweet and affectionate, pigs are just as smart as dogs, and meat is meat.
But unless you have a heart of stone, you’ll probably feel sorry for all of them. At least a little.
You might even learn how much pollution livestock farms produce. That includes water pollution from water runoff and all that poop and pee, plus air pollution from their farts and burps. Yep. Methane emissions, one of the “greenhouse gasses” that cause global warming, come from fossil fuels and the enormous farts of cows, pigs, and sheep. Plus their poop, which is often dumped and covered in deep pits, releases even more methane as it decomposes. I’m not kidding.
So maybe you’ll start feeling weepy for the entire human race. And who knows? Maybe you’ll become a tree-hugger.
No! Run for your life! Animals can’t possibly be treated so bad. It’s a lie. Global warming is a lie. It’s a hoax, dammit. It’s all fake news. Right?
10. You’ll feel great.
This is the absolute worst part of becoming a vegetarian or vegan. Sure, your family and friends might be critical or make jokes about your new lifestyle. And you’ll have to learn all sorts of new ways to eat and cook or eat out.
But you won’t want to kick back on the sofa and watch TV all night. You’ll have too much energy! But what will you do? You might start feeling so good you’ll want to join a gym and work out or start walking or running. Clean up your bike or buy one. Who knows? You’ll be saving so much money you’ll be able to afford a lot more.
And you might get in the best shape you’ve ever been in. No, you won’t lose your muscles or get frail, flabby, and anemic or something. A vegetarian or vegan diet provides plenty of protein, after all. But you’ll almost definitely lose weight if you have some to spare, and for guys, this might mean your sex life will improve. If you’re more than just overweight, especially, you’ll soon have more energy. More confidence.
And if you’ve had ED issues, they just might disappear, especially if your high blood pressure drops. Viagra (sildenafil citrate) was originally developed to treat high blood pressure, after all, and during testing, well, just picture what happened to the volunteers. Woo! You won’t have to rely on little blue or yellow pills anymore or suffer in silence (unless you have some other condition).
Women can benefit, too, in a similar way, and looking good and feeling great never hurts. Get that blood pumping!
Don’t want to look good and feel great? Like your sofa a bit too much? Don’t want to be healthier and have better sex? Like the way things are right now?
Then don’t change your eating habits. It’s way too much hassle to stop eating meat and become a vegan or a vegetarian — and do it right. You get used to it, of course, but it might be too tough to get started. So why bother? You have better things to do than take care of your body and your health. Right?
